im drinking this country out of the recession.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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