Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
