We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize