that's an acceptable place to lick
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
