after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
