Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
