My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
