Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
