I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
