hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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