We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
