When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'd cum for enchiladas.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
