Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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