but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think your dad took our porno
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
