i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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