And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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