You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
