I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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