I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
