i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
