He disabled his match.com account in front of me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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