i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
