I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
