Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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