she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
