I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
