WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
