mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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