Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
