90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
