if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
