How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
