He uses pillows to masturbate.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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