We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
