everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
