Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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