your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
