four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
