just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to make out with him forever
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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