Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
