Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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