Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
