Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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