great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
