i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize