need another drink. this is the easiest way
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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