Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
