Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
