gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Come on in and take your pants off
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
