he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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