Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
