I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
